Marriage Reconnection Check-In

A simple relationship check-in for couples who want to understand where connection has weakened—and where to begin rebuilding it.

Score each statement from 1 to 5: 1 = rarely true, 3 = sometimes true, 5 = consistently true. Answer individually first, then compare your answers calmly.

1. Communication

1. I feel able to say what I really think and feel without fearing an argument.
2. My partner makes a genuine effort to understand me before responding.
3. We can disagree without becoming cruel, dismissive or completely shutting down.
4. When a conversation goes badly, we usually find our way back and repair it.

2. Emotional Closeness

1. I feel known by my partner—not just as a spouse or parent, but as a person.
2. We still share thoughts, hopes, worries and experiences with each other.
3. I feel valued and appreciated in this relationship.
4. We make time to enjoy each other rather than only dealing with responsibilities.

3. Affection & Intimacy

1. Affection such as touch, hugs or kisses feels natural between us.
2. We can talk honestly and respectfully about intimacy and what we need.
3. I feel wanted, cared for and emotionally safe with my partner.
4. Our physical relationship feels mutually valued rather than pressured or avoided.

4. Partnership

1. We feel like we are on the same team.
2. Important decisions are discussed rather than simply announced.
3. We consider each other’s interests, needs and pressures.
4. Even during stressful seasons, our relationship still receives attention.

Understanding your scores

Add each section separately. A lower score is not a verdict on your marriage—it is simply a clue about where repair may have the greatest impact.

• 16–20: This area appears to be a current strength. Protect it.
• 11–15: There is connection here, but some habits may need attention.
• 4–10: This area may be a significant source of disconnection and is a good place to begin.

One conversation to have this week

Instead of debating the scores, each partner completes this sentence: “One small thing that would help me feel more connected to you this week is…”

The other partner’s job is not to defend, explain or solve it immediately. Listen first. Then choose one small action each of you is willing to take.

Want help with what your scores reveal?

Marriage Reconnection is being built to provide practical guidance, exercises and coaching for communication problems, fading intimacy and couples who have drifted apart. More guided support is coming shortly.